I was in my office there other day and overheard an interesting conversation...
Mary was telling Kim (not their real names) about what her boy friend said to her that hurt her feelings. Kim said that she knew just how she felt because her boy friend had done something similar to her just last week. Kim then went on for a good 15 minutes describing in detail her incident. I'm sure her intent was to help Mary feel she wasn't alone. Yet I'm not sure that's what Mary felt.
I confess that I do the same thing sometimes. I have to catch myself and remember that they didn't ask for my advice or my commiseration. They simply wanted someone to listen to them. They don't want me to fix anything, they want me to hear them. Hear how they are feeling and what they think.
We all yearn to be 'gotten'.
More upsets are solved by listening than by offering advice.
Let's all focus on being better listeners. We have two ears and one mouth for good reason... We should listen twice was much as we talk.